Taking a Leave - 111 - Colonoscopy - No Yard Sale

My life has been a bit crazy lately as I am trying to get all the medical tests I need done as soon as possible.   

I haven't had medical for so long, that there are many things I need to check out, and my age brings a few tests into being. I had the sleep study last week that I shared about in a post, and then starting the next morning, did a prep for a colonoscopy. I have never had one and had NO idea what the cleanse routine would do to my system. I wanted to help it along, so I ate a grapefruit which makes everything clean out as well. I don't eat red meat so there isn't lots of stuff stuck in there for much time anyway, and eating no gluten and only one meal a day. I figured it would be fairly clear. 

Let's just say that they should give you a diaper when telling you how to prep for this. I went to the store and barely made it home, but didn't quite get to the bathroom. So, I decided to stay home from that point on. I had cramps and was in the bathroom all night. So, not much sleep the night before due to the sleep study, and then in the bathroom most of the night of the prep, so I maybe got five hours of bad sleep in two nights. 

I go get the procedure and my sister is a saint for taking me there and back. They said it was super clear and no concerns at all, it looked boringly normal! All my friends that have had them done had polyps and had to have them removed. I was so grateful everything went well and things looked so good. I woke up wide awake and the orderly told me my blood pressure was like a teens and that I woke up abnormally fast and happy. So, all in all, it was a great day. However, I started to have cramping and gas from the procedure that evening. I climbed into bed early and woke an hour later to a pop in my neck and then couldn't get back to sleep. I guess maybe the position I was in on my side caused my neck some issues. Not being able to sleep, I got up and started going through things as I was going to have a yard sale this week. 

I was feeling so horrible Saturday, I was crying with so much bloating, cramping, and a headache as we have had rain every day. I was supposed to have a yard sale this past weekend but with the rain and the procedure, I just didn't have the energy to do it. I was going to put it out on Saturday, but couldn't. 

I was going to put it out on Sunday after church, but there was LOTS of wind, and a meeting on how to use the scripture app and I wanted to learn that but my phone was dead. I charged it for a few minutes after a video chat with my girls and went to the meeting. I got home feeling so horrible and tired after only a few hours sleep in four days that when my sister came to pick a few items up I needed delivered to family as she was heading to visit some, I told her I just didn't have the energy to do it. She called her husband and twin daughters to come over and help me put them out. 

I just am so exhausted that after they left, I just couldn't do it. I had told my sister prior to that, that I may leave town for a few weeks to just get away from everything and regroup on my life priorities. I have so much I want to do relating to my mom and it has been getting more and more clear that I need to fulfill the promises we made to her on her death bed to publish her book. I stopped working on it for a few years as her stuff was getting overwhelming and now I have nearly two bedrooms and some garage area with her items in it that I need to finish organizing, cleaning, refinishing, scanning, transferring to digital etc. 

I have decided that I am taking a break from my blog. I clearly haven't done much with my YouTube channel or blog, and I keep getting notifications from Google telling me there are issues with my blog but GOOGLE owns Blogger and I can't even reply to comments anymore. It takes so much longer to post as the action buttons don't work. So, it is nearly impossible to find my blog posts on google due to the issues with blogger that I can't fix, so I will be taking a leave for now. I have over 3000 posts on there, and over 1000 videos on my YouTube channel. I have 81 I have uploaded and never taken the time to list as it takes about an hour per video and I still have lots of videos that I haven't even uploaded to YouTube that may never get uploaded or posted on YouTube. 

I keep sending YouTube suggestions to allow people to republish videos that are old and not getting views without the algorithm putting and keeping them at the bottom. I think if they would allow a "republish" button for people who have older videos on there, they would get more views as the videos would now have tags and could be found. 

I started YouTube in 2010 and so much has changed in the nearly 13 years I have been posting on YouTube. I think kids now don't want to read a blog, they want to watch short videos as their attention spans have gotten down to seconds. The most popular videos are the ones that add cuts to recapture their audiences attention every few seconds. It is a sad state for our society that people can't focus for more than a few seconds, but I feel it is time to focus on other things rather than blogging. 

I have enjoyed watching my children grow as the blog was like a journal for my family. I may pick it up again at some point, but it won't be with blogger as it is beyond help, and I think Google gave up trying to fix the bugs hoping people would move on. 

I am exhausted, falling asleep more and more as I have tried to blog these past few months, and it has lost is enjoyment in my life as I have had some nasty stalkers write dirty things about my family members as there are perverts everywhere, having been online for such a long time, I got a few pedophiles commenting and have had to delete a few posts due to the attention they drew. 

I thank those of you who have followed me for so many years and am sorry to those that I haven't been able to reply to these past many months, but appreciate all the comments you have all given me over the years. 

I thought it was so funny that two of my video's yesterday got 111 views. I took it as a sign that the choices I am making in my world are the best for my family.

I am grateful to my sister and her family for helping me put the tables out and I am sure tomorrow, he will help me put them back as I am planning some visits to my kids since I am taking this break, I want to connect with those who bring JOY into my life! I am so blessed with healthy and happy children and want peace and joy in my life. They are the peace and joy in my world! 

I will maintain the horsehairinhumans website and my YouTube videos as I feel a need, but taking this break will be such a relief. Can you imagine writing an hour or more blog post every day and a few weekends for almost 13 years! I had hoped it would bring me some financial relief, but I make less than $20 a month on the blog and I spend at least 5-10 hours taking photos, editing them, transferring them, and adding videos sometimes and then writing the post. 

If I have helped anyone, it was worth it, but it is still a fun history for my family and my kids will look up their favorite recipes at times. I think they will be happy I am not blogging anymore, but it has been a good outlet for me to share those things in a way that will allow them to be there for my grandchildren as well. 

I feel truly blessed to have this in my world and know it helped in other ways I can't share publicly, but I feel that God put it in the right hands at the right time to bless me in so many ways! I am grateful for the gratitude moments that are now there for my family to see. My 111 moments, and my "Trust in God" posts, that they can know the ways that my Father in Heaven speaks to me, and has blessed my life! 

I want to thank those friends who have been with me most of the way. Sara for suggesting I write a blog, Julie and Julie for their many generous comments and gifts, Jay for teaching me so many thing I would never have thought of on my own etc. My kids for their patience in allowing me to post their good days and their bad. My friend Katie who gave me one of my "Biggest Wins" and always has a kind word for my posts and videos. My siblings for the many times they have helped me with weddings, activities, crafts, family history projects, reunions etc. I truly love that God gave me a place to share my gratitude for so many things! 

And possibly for the last time, I hope you have a BLESSED DAY!

Customer Service By Phone Verses Online

I made a call this week to a company where I purchase my vitamins. I had some issues with some vitamins I purchased recently.

I called the customer service number and was on hold for a LONG time. It was SO long, that I decided to try to contact them online as the phone kept giving a message that you could contact the customer service by text or chat online. 

So, I started up my computer and went to the website and had a hard time getting a chat to go as I was trying to find a customer service chat. I opened one and typed in the number for customer service chat, but it didn't tell you that anywhere until you click into the chat. I then typed in the number and hit enter and after about a minute waiting, the chat said, "No chat information, chat is closing." So, I tried again! 

It closed again. Finally, on the third try, I was about to get a human to chat with about my issues. I went back and forth and was a bit frustrated that the man wasn't able to look up my history based on my email. I had to give him the order numbers which didn't help and then finally had to give him the actual name and item number of the products, so I actually think the chat did take longer than if I had a person on the phone, HOWEVER, I had been on hold on the phone the entire time I was chatting! 

I never did hear a human voice while I was on hold! I was on hold almost an hour. It only took me a few minutes to get a chat going online once I figured out that I just had to hit a chat box on the order page. 

I got my situation taken care of by chat in half the time! It was just under a half hour that I chatted verses the hour on hold and not getting to speak with a human. 

I would suggest that next time you have a customer service issue, you see if going online to chat is an option! 

Have a blessed day!

Random Stuff and In God We Trust

It has been a bit crazy as I have been working on things. I had a few things I wanted to share. 

I was shopping the other day and I rarely look at clothes. I saw a rack of what I thought was $0.25 clothes. I was walking past and there was a pair of pants that caught my eye. I felt like I should check the pockets in the pants. I am not the type of person to check used clothing pockets, but in the past, I have posted where I felt like I should check the pocket of something and found some things. 

I followed that feeling and I pulled out a dollar! I laughed as God is so good to me. Just a lovely reminder to trust in HIM.The other day, I was stressed as I am trying to get my trailer ready for a reunion at the lake and it has been a bit stressful as I needed to fix a few things. I was getting out at the store and there was a penny just outside my car. I LOVE that God sends me reminders to trust Him especially when I am stressed. 

I had been at Walmart and my girls had taken a poll as to what snacks they would like me to purchase for our reunion. They all agreed that they wanted Peanut Butter M & M's. I look for them at Walmart as I am buying a few things for the reunion each time I go so the bill isn't one huge bill and I don't have to haul huge amounts of groceries into the house at one time. 

There wasn't one bag of Peanut Butter M & M's in Walmart! I couldn't believe it! I guess my family poll was indicative of what the rest of the town thinks! I wanted to go to the other grocery store in town as they had a few things on sale that I wanted, so I go to the store and that is when I found the penny outside the car! 

I was making muffins to freeze for the next week as those are something my girls enjoy, and I pulled out the containers that I usually use and broke two as they fell to the ground. That made me sad, but I hope Tupperware will still do their replacement to broken items. 

I have a friend who couldn't believe that in our town they allow kids to drive ATV's and Motorcycles on the street. He said he looked up the law and it wasn't legal. I laughed as they don't care in small towns. Farming communities just have different mindsets.

I was driving home from the store the other day and saw a super small kids ATV and there was about an 8 year old driving a smaller child in the middle of the street! He pulled over to the side when I was coming, but they were coming to an intersection and a huge truck was coming out so I made sure they saw the kids but there were NO parents around and they were on the street! Crazy that they weren't being watched. 

However, my nephew showed up one day at about age 3 on a full sized ATV that the neighbor kid who was 5 drove over! It was parked on my grass. I called my sister asking where her son was and she told me he was at the neighbors. I told her he was at my house and the 5 year old drove him over on an ATV! After that, the parents didn't leave the keys in the ATV! 

So, weird situations to share, but it is just life! 

Have a Blessed Day!

Something Happens After Years Of Finding Coins - In God We Trust

I had a friend reply to one of my posts this past week. He shared that he had been pondering on how God speaks to him, and he said that he thought perhaps it could also be pennies or finding coins as he had two situations that he shared regarding finding coins. 

He shared that he found some children's books while waking playing Pokemon. They were sitting on the sidewalk and no one was around. He decided he would drop them off at the police station in case anyone lost them. He then found a penny. 

He shared that later that day while walking and playing Pokemon, there was a child getting into the car with her mother and was crying for some reason. He shared that he prayed for the girl and right after finishing the prayer, he found another penny. 

I texted him back sharing that it was interesting to me that both times were after he served another person and helped someone or did service. 

I started thinking back on many of the times I had found coins and many of them did revolve around helping others. Most of the time, it is more when I am stressed and need a reminder to Trust in God. 

I realized today that not only the coins remind me to Trust in God, but the areas where I found the coin have continued to remind me as I pass them to remember and trust in HIM. 

I was leaving a store today and saw the spot I found a nickle and smiled to myself. I then went to Walmart and smiled as I passed places I have found coins in the past. I thought to myself that giving gratitude, and being reminded to Trust in God, have not only given me those reminders at the time of finding the coin, but every time I walk or drive past that spot from then on. 

I think that by focusing on the the event, it triggers a connection in my mind to be reminded about it in the future. 

I have found enough coins that almost everywhere I go, I am reminded to trust in God! It is kind of nice to be able to have those reminders.

I found a penny on my way out of Walmart today! I was already planning on posting about this today, finding a penny was just icing on the top! 

I took a photo of the spot where I was reminded today walking out of the store. I also took one near the cart return at Walmart where I found another coin. It was so enlightening to have that realization today. 

Have a blessed day!

Super Flower Blood Moon Total Eclipse May 15 - 16, 2022

I was so hot in the house tonight, that I had a fan in the door facing in on high and it was still 75 degrees in the house.

I decided to go to the cemetery to be by the water and catch a breeze while playing Pokemon. I headed over and was texting Princess Two who has been sick. She then texted the entire family to go out and look at the eclipse of the moon. I was facing the wrong direction to see the moon and had missed it. 

I got out and took a few photos with my phone but couldn't zoom in much and went home to take some photos with my better camera. I couldn't figure out the settings as I haven't used this camera much since I purchased it. I did get a few good ones in my street, but wanted to get some with the American flag and monument so I went back to the cemetery. 

There was a kind of creepy guy and a woman and some smaller children who looked like a creepy old story figure and I could tell he wasn't quite right and he pulled right behind me and turned his car off. He kept asking me questions about my camera and telling me that there were better views between the trees etc. 

I thought about leaving but the women kept correcting him on things and kept him in line. After ten minutes he finally moved and I was able to stabilize the camera on a cement bench and got a few good photos.

I tried to get a photo of my camera focusing on it with my cell as I couldn't get my regular camera to take the photos after focusing. 

I wish I new how to work with my camera better, but it was nice to be able to get a few good shots. I took some good shots during the last lunar eclipse. Here is a link to that post. It was just a year ago in eleven days from now. It was close to morning and was on the opposite side of the sky. 

When I drove home to get my camera, the family with 7 kids were all standing in the yard looking at the moon. They were making fun comments. 

I wanted to try getting a few more photos as it moved through the eclipse, but my battery died on my camera and then there was cloud cover and I couldn't get more. It was fun to see another total eclipse! 

I feel blessed to have the eyes to see heavenly signs! 

In one of the photos I was taking with my phone there was a meteor at the top of the photos and it showed up like a hair in the photo, but it was fun being able to see both at one time! 

Have a blessed day!

My Funny Orchids - Years In The Making

A few years ago in 2019 around Valentines Day, I posted a story about orchids the girls gave me. Here is a link to that post. 

I share in that post about getting a really small orchid in 2017 from Princess Three and how it was the size of my little finger. Then for Valentines Day in 2019, I got a super tall orchid which barely fit in the kitchen window! 

I was really happy to have the larger of the two orchids sending out a flowering shoot recenlty. The smaller of the two was not growing much this past year or so. In fact, the orchid is not much bigger considering it has been in my home for five years. 

I admit I am not the biggest Orchid guru, but I have been able to keep them alive all these years. They have even bloomed a few times. One had a root shoot coming out and I put it in moist moss for a week or two and it started growing roots and sending a shoot out so today I planted it in some moss in a small solo mini cup to see if I can get it to grow into a plant. 

Today, I also planted the five year old small one into a clear cup as it was getting over watered in the container I had it in and it started getting fruit flies from some Walmart fruit. 

I was excited to see that something was sprouting out of the top of the root I sprouted and planted today. I hope they all do well. It will be fun to see the tall one bloom soon! 

Have a blessed day!

Help With Prescription Drugs - Worth A Try

I shared last week how I had a horrible migraine and in the update video post last week as well about how I tried a new migraine  medication and it didn't work. 

The first sublingual medication I tried was Nurtec. It worked in about 45 minutes, didn't make me throw up, and took the edge off. I did have break through but it was minimal. You can only take one every 24 hours, but after four or five hours, it would come back a bit, but I could take a Tylenol as it didn't get bad and at least I wasn't throwing up. 

My Dr. Gave me a prescription for Nurtec and another medication and I went to pick up the medication and the pharmacy told me that the Nurtec was really expensive and wasn't approved for my insurance plan. The Dr.'s office sent in to requests for the medication to get pre-approval, and both were denied as it isn't an approved medication as I think it is a new medication. 

I asked the Dr. office if I should try and get a hearing to try and tell them why that medication works and the other doesn't, but they said they haven't had much luck with that with the insurance I have. 

They shared that there is an assistance program through each pharmaceutical company. They said you just need to google the medication you need, and the words "patient assistance" to find the application to maybe get help getting the medication you need. 

I came home and searched online for "Nertec patient assistance" and was able to click right on the link within seconds. 

The process wasn't hard. Basically, they want to do a financial check on your social security number or look at your taxes to really see if you need help. They look to see if you are on any help programs. 

They ask for a denial letter if you do have insurance showing that you have tried to get the medication. They also ask for your medical card to see that your company won't pay for the medication. 

I printed out the application and made copies of the denial letter and my insurance card and then dropped off the filled out application to my Dr.'s office so they could fill in the prescription information and fax it to the company. 

I don't know that I will qualify for the assistance, but I figure it can't hurt to try. After my horrible day last week vomiting and dry heaving all day and not getting out of bed until nearly midnight, I am to the point I need to find some answer or way to not have those type of days anymore. It would be lovely to have something that would allow me to live a more "normal" life! 

Fingers crossed! Have a blessed day!

Recycling Plastic Containers in Your Own Way

I live in a very small town. There is no recycling in our town. At one point, they had a few dumpsters for paper recycling but they found that the gas they used cost more than they made in recycling income. 

We did have a metal recycling in town for many years until the owner had a stroke. He was such a good man and helped me in so many ways allowing me to collect metals in a dumpster and giving the income to the local drill team which my kids were in at the time. Here is a link about that back then. 

We have never had any recycling of plastics that I know of in our town. Everything ends up in a landfill. So, I started looking for places where I could recycle my plastics. I have a container for batteries to recycle, one for metals to recycle, and a larger bag for plastics that can be used for other things. 

I keep some of the better recycling plastics for the kids when they come home so they can take food home. For example, Princess One and her family were here this week and I made chicken enchiladas for them. I am gluten free and can't eat it, so I had half a casserole pan left over, so I put it in one of those plastic containers and sent it home with them sandwiched between two pounds of very frozen beef so they could take it home to eat it. 

I also have done many funeral meals volunteering at our church building and they are always looking for containers to send food home with the family. There are usually three or four different congregations meeting at each of our church buildings, so the containers go quickly. I save any plastic bottles, yogurt, ice cream, or take out containers that have good fitting lids. 

I have used the plastic containers to send home soups from the church, or gravy from the Christmas meals. This year, I used one of the containers I donated during covid to take home mashed potatoes from our Christmas dinner. I was glad there were still some containers there. We used many of the containers I took during that time and the supply was low. 

Since I live alone and have some fatty liver issues, I don't eat yogurt and my daughters that went through the large containers no longer live with me, my donations have slowed, but I do get some plastic jars in daily living from spaghetti sauces etc sometimes. I used to be able to fill a small garbage sack in a few months, but now I donate a bag a year or so now. 

Another place I have donated is the food bank. Sometimes, they get donations in large containers and can't distribute that larger amount to people, so being able to put it in smaller containers and sticking a label on it can be helpful to distribute the food. 

Another place that may be able to use them is the local seniors center. Our local senior center makes lunches several times a week and can use the containers for left overs. They are also the place that makes meals on wheel, but they have bought containers for that. 

That same senior center and a local youth center are both rented out for weddings, family reunions, and other activities. We have had our last few missionary farewell and homecomings there. It would have been very handy to have extra containers there for family to take home some of the leftovers we had at those events. 

I never throw out any containers as any and all of those places can use them for left overs. Of course, it does take some effort to drop them off every so often, but in the end, I can't tell you how many times I have used them to take food to families in need. When we have lots of left overs it is nice to be able to make sure it gets to those who can use them the most. 

I thought maybe people would think this is a lame post, but I figure if it can keep the plastics out of the earth and help others at the same time, it is worth posting about. 

Have a blessed day!

An Unwanted Visitor - Lizard

I was headed out to get the mail today and noticed this little guy in my door crease. I don't use the front door often, I am not sure how long this little visitor has been in my home.

I have NEVER seen a lizard in my neighborhood. I have never seen any in my yard. I don't even know if I have ever seen any in the hills around my home.  

I couldn't believe that it must have been running around the brick to stay warm during a recent storm, but I have a metal plate hanging down on the inside of the door so I think it may have gotten wedged between the frame and that metal plate trying to stay warm. 

I think the crazy warm and then cold weather we have hand off and on and off and on could have brought it out, and then snow made it seek shelter. 

Have a blessed day! 

A Thoughtful and Patient Friend

I had a friend send me a text yesterday as he needed to know details for something he is ordering for me. The gift he ordered is probably one of the most thoughtful and insightful gifts I will ever get. 

I cried seeing the pattern / design for the gift as I immediately knew what it was for and was very overwhelmed by the depth of his knowledge and how he listened to something I said in one of my blog posts or videos quite a while ago. He took that one sentence I shared back then, and is having something beautiful made for me. 

I shared with my girls what he had ordered and they all said, "Wow, that is a perfect gift for you mom!" so even they recognized how insightful the gift he ordered is for me. 

I arrived home today from an appointment, and there was a delivery box on my porch. When I opened it, it was a wooden sign with, "The Secret Is Gratitude" engraved on it! It was from this same friend from my past. I felt very overwhelmed and stressed by the gifts as I know one is VERY expensive. Even if both weren't expensive, just getting showered with gifts from a man made me uncomfortable. 

I have gotten some beautiful gifts over the years and feel so blessed to have so many people care about me. I didn't realize until today, that I have never felt comfortable with getting gifts from men. I enjoy flowers, but in my marriage they represented either his having done something to hurt me, or him sending them to my school or work making him look good. He wouldn't give them to me with a hug privately, he would do it where the other women would say, "Oh, you have the best husband" which always made me feel like he was doing it for him to look good, as that was a large motivation for everything he did, rather than for me in any way. I would share something I may like for a gift and he refused to ever give me something I wanted and would buy gifts that others would notice and then I would say where I got it making him look good, but almost every time, he would buy things I wouldn't use so he would be upset when I wouldn't wear them or use them. It is like giving someone a motorcycle helmet that is really nice, but they don't ride motorcycles.

For example, one year I asked for a sewing machine and I got a pearl bracelet instead. I needed a sewing machine to sew clothes for the girls and things in the house and LOVE creating things. I had several small children and wore no jewelry at all as every time I did they would get broken so for most of my children's lives, I didn't wear jewelry. I went to visit a dear friend a few years back and she said, "You are wearing jewelry! You never wear jewelry!" So, it was clear that I didn't wear jewelry when my kids were young! ha ha

So, I pondered on that and then in visiting with the friend who sent the sign today and ordered the larger gift, I kind of pushed it away emotionally and distanced the gift while texting back and forth. I hurt his feelings doing that and in visiting after that, I had that realization I shared above about receiving gifts from my former spouse, and then had an even deeper realization that when I was younger, there were people in my life who gave me treats and gifts to earn my trust only to hurt me. 

I realized from this friend being patient with me and giving me time to share what I was feeling and look at why I was so overwhelmed with his gifts, that I needed to let go of that mistrust of men and the belief that men can only give me gifts with an ulterior motive. 

I can let men do service for me without that belief, but when they give me something, I am suspect. I also realized that maybe I probably put some of that energy towards my former spouse and always mistrusted his gifts, but know that there is a little of both situations going on in that situation with the attention gift giving gave him. 

It was all just really cathartic having those break throughs, and I realized that this entire situation was needed in my life and I give gratitude to God, and my friend, for giving me a situation that would help me get to that realization. 

I know that sometimes men do give gifts with expectations, but now I realize that I can assess the situation and not just react with suspicion out of reflex.

I am blessed with good friends in my life and I am grateful they are patient with me! 

Have a blessed day!

A New Doctor from an Old Doctor

I shared recently about visiting a Dr. and he was very young, and I really felt that he wasn't able to look at my issues and resolve them. When I had some test that came back abnormal, I never heard back from him, and he never talked to me about coming back other than sharing we couldn't deal with everything I brought up in one visit. I found that interesting because I felt like my new Dr. was able to deal with all my issues in one visit.

I used to work with a Dr. that has an office near me, but since he is older, they don't usually take new patients. I saw him seven years ago or so for one visit, but went with another Dr. I knew better. 

Having had such a bad experience with the younger Dr. and finding out that the one I thought I was actually going to when I met with the younger Dr. wasn't taking new patients, I called this other Dr. I worked with and they said they needed to see if he will see me as every practitioner in their office is booked and needs to OK any new patients. 

I got a call back a few days later saying that the Dr. would see me. I was THRILLED when he was able to schedule me in a week. 

On the day of my appointment, I woke to about a foot of snow. I was worried I wouldn't be able to get out of my street because my car is light and doesn't do well in the snow. I had a back up person to come get me in their truck if I couldn't get out of the street. Once out, the other streets are plowed, and I was able to get to his office. The parking lot was really snowy, but I figured I could walk home if I got stuck trying to get out. I was thrilled that I was able to get out easily as the sun came out and started melting the snow. 

I was so impressed with the fact I didn't even get to finish my paperwork before I was called into the office. The nurse got the preliminary intake done quickly and I was only in the office for maybe 2 minutes before the Dr. was in to meet with me. The other Dr. had me waiting in the waiting room and the smaller exam room for a longer time. 

The Dr. was very attentive and addressed every issues I brought up. He brought up my labs and ordered follow up tests for the abnormal results. He ordered a pulmonary function test as I shared my lungs feel worse than the last PFT and ordered some liver tests. 

He gave me a prescription for a different thyroid medication and I am really excited to see if it can help me not be so tired. He then brought up my headaches and I hadn't even talked to him about them, so I think he was great for bringing them up from my intake. He told me about three or four medications and talked about the side effects as some can cause liver problems. He also addressed that if I am having a headache, I would likely throw it up, so he got me sublingual migraine medication and gave me two boxes of trial packets so I can see if they will work before getting a prescription. 

He did something I LOVED because I just realized my love language last week or so is feeling heard. He would ask a question, and then tell me he understood or said, "I hear you" or would make a validation comment like, "I believe that that may be something you could have an issue with" when I talked about having a fatty liver. He didn't tell me "Your eyes aren't bad" or ignored my migraines and giving me anti-nausea meds rather than something that will help with the pain causing the nausea. 

He said that he wanted to see me again after all the labs and tests had been done to review how they went and address if the thyroid medication is working and see if I tried the migraine medication. 

I was SO excited to know that he wasn't leaving me hanging as the other Dr. ran tests, never called about the results and didn't give me a time frame to meet back or review my tests. 

I didn't feel that the visit was rushed, he addressed all my issues, he addressed EACH issue, and when I was leaving and scheduling my next appointment, he said to the woman scheduling me for next month, "Yes, please take care of her." 

I really felt very well taken care of, and was super excited to try the thyroid medications and the migraine meds. 

I have been on the thyroid meds for two days and don't know that I see anything yet, but the paperwork said it could take over a month to see benefits. I thought it was interesting to see that the paperwork also said to not take the medication to lose weight. I laughed and thought, I hope it does help me lose weight but even more, I don't want to be so tired all the time. 

I don't think I could have been happier with the visit. I feel like the burdens of my health issues were like the snow. Like they have me worried I wouldn't get through them just like the snow. We need the snow and moisture, and I feel like God has given me these health burdens to grow and learn so I can see the benefits of each. Then I come out of the appointment and the snow is melting, the sun is shining and I took my jacket off as it had warmed up. I felt like I was brighter coming out of the office and the burdens were melting off just knowing I had hope of trying to figure out what can help the problems.  

Have a blessed day!

I Finally Found My Love Language - It's NOT one of the Five Known Languages

I have always wondered what my primary love language is as none of them seem to be greater than any other and I am always giving or doing things for others from all the love languages, and enjoy receiving from the five love languages, but have always been kind of indifferent about them. I love foot rubs but it is more about foot pain for me. If I want something, I usually buy it so gifts are not my main language. I enjoy time with my family, and enjoy notes and cards, but none of them stand out more than another for me. 

I had a realization this week after writing a guy back and forth on a dating site. I asked the guy what his favorite gift in his whole life had been. 

I don’t remember what he said his was, as I was writing a few different people, but he asked me the same question and it took me a long time to figure out what my favorite gift was. 

I told him that being a middle child from a family of 8 and being middle class, we didn’t get many name brand items, yet our cousins were wealthy and would always get name brand items. 

We would always take our favorite Christmas gifts to my Grandmothers who would give my parents money for the holidays to buy us presents. We would take the gifts to show her what her money bought. I was insecure about always getting used or non-name brand items. 

One year, my parents got me exactly what I asked for, a new Sony boombox and a new Mother Karen ski jacket. It wasn’t the gift I got that meant so much, it was that I felt heard. They listened to what I wanted. There weren't many times that I felt heard growing up.

I told the guy online that situation and had the realization that my love language is "being heard or listened to" as being the middle child of 8, I rarely had people listen to me. 

I then realized that three of my closest and dearest friends for the past few years are all people who just listen and love me. They never try to tell me what I should do, or how to do it, or try to fix it or tell me how I did something wrong in how I reacted or dealt with situations. They don’t judge me but just listen and show sympathy about what I am sharing. Living alone, I don't have someone to visit with at home, so I should have figured this out sooner, but I am just grateful I now know.

I feel happy to figure out what my love language is as it explains so much about my life. In researching, there is a "7" love language out there that has communication as one of the love languages which would cover my language in some ways, but it really isn't about communicating back and forth, it is just being validated by someone listening to my thoughts and feelings and there really doesn't have to be much back and forth, it is them just intently listening to me.

A therapist or uninvolved person wouldn't work as they don't genuinely care about me, so there is some component to the person really caring as well, so it is being listened to and cared about, not that they have to do anything other than listen, but I know they care.

Pondering on this for the past few days, I have realized that my mothers love language was also being heard. She spent years sharing her stories being a motivational speaker and recording tapes telling stories and sharing her feelings on things. I have listened and digitized hundreds of tapes of many types, and still have 190 cassette tapes to listen and see if anything on them is worth recording digitally. 

On one of these tapes, she shares that she tapes things because she is worried that no one will know the stories of her life as her kids aren't interested in listening and she and my father were going through a divorce about that time and hadn't communicated well for years. We didn't listen to her as we were raised in a home where communication wasn't honored or expressed well.

I realized that she just didn't feel heard as well. It really explains so much. I wish I had known that information before she passed away so I could show her I loved her in her own love language. I had tried for years to figure out her love language but she, like me, were a bit indifferent to most of them. We would do acts of service, give gifts, write notes, spend time, etc but nothing ever seemed to get through. I understand her now figuring this out!

Anyway, I am forever grateful to the guy online for helping me figure out my love language. It will help me in the future. I am grateful to know myself better! 

Have a blessed day!