Friday, January 15, 2016

Princess One - Mother Again - Loving IT!

Princess One recently announced she is having another baby! Of course, we are all thrilled! You can see our reactions in the video below. Then, there is another video with the girls doing a "Lip Reading, Jimmy Fallon" style game as well. This news, and having my mother here has made me reflect on "being a mother" and this post is about that as well as announcing Grand-baby number 2 is on the way!!!!

I am a proud mother. I know I have failed in many ways in my life. I think we all have life regrets and we tend to hold onto those and express those when we think about our life.

For some reason, it is looked down upon or thought of as prideful if you say you have done something well. When people tell me I am a good mother, I usually say, "God blessed me with amazing kids." and down play the role I had in their lives. I DO believe God blessed me with good children but I also think I am a good mother.

As I have had my mother here living with me, I have reflected on the stories she has shared and about how many things she did right and how having a good mother has made me a good mother.

My kids will ask my how I learned to be a good mother and I always answer that "My mother was a good mother." She could always tell when something was going on and I have a memory that probably changed my life when I was in about 7th grade.

We lived in an area right down town when I was growing up and would have people expose themselves or urinate on the street within view. Sometimes strangers would just walk into our house. We lived in the heart of the city in a 100 year old mansion. The week I turned 12, we moved to a suburb. When living down town, I would hear sirens driving past and we lived on one of the main busy streets in the city so we always had traffic noises through the night. We could never have a dog because no sooner did we start to love them, they would always get hit by cars due to the busy street we lived on. 

When we moved, I remember not being able to sleep because it was so quiet at night. The neighbors were VERY wealthy in our neighborhood and we were on the same block as a country club. It was a affluent area. The girls my age all wore the latest clothes and most of my clothes were second hand or hand me downs from my older sister.

Being one of eight children didn't make for lots of spending cash so when my friends would go "hang out" at the mall, they would buy food at the food court and clothes from the shops in the mall. I had no memory in my life of ever being in a mall until we moved to that area and we were near an affluent mall and that is what the teens did, was hang out and shop at the mall. I was used to hanging out in alleys making forts behind dumpsters in the rear of business towers etc.

I thought going to Jr. High would be an adventure because I attended two different elementary schools growing up and would know almost everyone in my Jr. High. That was until we moved the month school started when I was headed into Jr. High. I went in knowing NO ONE! I felt like I didn't fit in with all the rich girls and was embarrassed by my clothes. In the down town school, I was always at the top of my class as many of my classmates were foreign, I was friends with everyone. After moving, I wasn't sure where I fit in with all the new kids and in the new school.

I had an identity crisis. In the past, I had to put clothes on lay away at a downtown shop if I wanted something new and would have to use babysitting money to purchase the new clothes with payments. I babysat since I was ten having lots of younger siblings and being mature for my age, I had many regular babysitting jobs until we moved and no one needed a young babysitter in the affluent area. I had no money to buy new clothes.

Here is my mother telling the story of how she would purchase our clothes on limited income. She was watching the movie "Shopaholic" the other day and started telling me this story. I actually remember going with her for day trips to the store and have an interesting story I don't think my kids even know about that I will share tomorrow possibly. Here is the video of her sharing her story.

After moving, my mother saw that I was struggling and took some hard earned money and took me to the mall and let me buy whatever I wanted. I got a new wardrobe and she spent $300 on me that day. It is the only day I ever remember her buying me something new with her money. She did buy us Christmas and Easter clothes but I didn't know she was the one buying those. That day, I knew I mattered more than money and that I was "worth" it. I could have new things that I didn't have to work hard to get.

Once my older siblings were out of the house and the finances eased up some, I would get a clothing allowance for school shopping and could buy new but until that time, all I knew was I would get one new outfit from my grandmother on my birthday and almost everything else was used.

With those new clothes, I had the confidence to talk with my new neighbors and felt like I could fit in. Later, it didn't matter as much as we were already friends but my mother knew at that point I needed something and she took the time to figure out what I needed and gave it to me.

I know I am not perfect but I have to say that I am the mother I am because my mother was the mother she was. With that, I know Princess One is a wonderful mother. She is a good example to the other girls and researching everything letting them know what is the best way for this and that. My way is old school and things have changed a ton so we are all grateful for her hard work and experience so they can have the knowledge when they have children.

I am grateful to my grandmothers who obviously did a wonderful job in raising amazing children who became wonderful parents. The top photo is my mother with me. Then, my mothers, mother with her. This lower picture is my dad's mother with him as a triplet infant. I saved the best for last, Princess One with her first daughter! One can't fathom how much influence we have on the lives of our children until you have one of your own and see them reflect who you are as they grow. I often see myself mirrored in my girls. Sometimes, it is a wake-up to be a better person but most of the time, it is a joy to see them doing good in their lives and striving to become the best person they can! 

I hope that someday my girls can answer their children when they ask, "Why are you such a good mom?" with "Because my mother was a good mother."

One of my favorite sayings I have hanging in my home is this - Proverbs 31:28 says "Her children arise and call her blessed!" Truly, I hope they can because today, I do feel blessed!

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