Many years ago I worked very hard at making friends with a woman whose husband was a member of our congregation at church. She was very shy and wouldn't meet us at our home so our first meeting had to be at a restaurant as she didn't want us in her home until she knew us. It took some time but over the years we became very good friends. I helped clean her home and brought in food when she had her baby and she came and helped me when I moved out of state. I have enjoyed visiting with her when we visit that area and we keep in touch.
One day before we moved, we were at her home for a bar-b-cue and she made Southern Baked Beans. During the party, she became distant and I thought perhaps something I said offended her. I didn't want to have this distance between us so I apologized if something I said offended her. She said, "You didn't say anything that offended me, you ate my baked beans with a spoon." I thought she was joking at first but it was clear she wasn't. So, I told her I was sorry I had offended her and took that as a lesson.
Many times in life, people will do things that upset us. There can be 20 people in a room and someone say's something that upsets us and we are the only one upset. Obviously, if we take offense, we have the issue. Most times people can tell we are upset but have no idea why unless we go to them and let them know what has upset us. We can carry that upset for years. Most times, the person that offended has moved on and never knew how or why we were offended.
I learned from that to never let offenses stay long as sometimes they grow. If I think I have offended someone or they have offended me, I go to them and express my feelings and some of my best friends have come from situations where I have apologized for something I may have done to offend.
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