Learning to Serve the Hard Way Part 2

Because of my experience after Erik's death, every time I start feeling sorry for myself, I go do service. This lesson saved me through my difficult divorce.

One night in particular, it was the first time all the children had gone on visitation since their father had been arrested while they had been in his care. I was so upset and stressed about them that I was having a miserable time. I felt so sad and worried about them.

Then, I realized that my worrying and stressing while they were gone wasn't helping them, helping me, or serving a purpose. I could feel this way for one minute or 18 years. If I felt this way, it wouldn't change the situation. If the children knew I was upset, they would be upset.


So, I remembered Erik and decided to do service and do something that would excite the children and help them deal with the difficult situation and give them something to help them look forward.

Each time they left for visitation, I told them I would change something in the house and they had to "find it" when they came home. So, the first weekend, I did something I had never done before. I custom painted one of their rooms. This was a hit and they would race through the house when arriving home!

After that, they couldn't wait to go so that I would change something else and each looked forward to the time it was their turn to have their room painted. I continued painting until the house had been painted throughout. By then, the kids were over their immediate stresses.

From that moment on, I looked forward to the time I would have to spend alone to ponder, be creative, learn and develop new talents, work on my home and heal.

Thanks to Erik, my children were also helped through a difficult time.