It was 1988 and I had just had my first baby. I had worked full time before the baby and I was living 2,000 miles from my family. I was now home all day with the baby and was having baby blues with a 2 bedroom apartment and not much to do all day.
Erik was a boy whose father was a drummer in a famous band. He grew up around drugs and alcohol his whole life. He was addicted to drugs at a very young age. He fought with his addiction many times in rehab and couldn't seem to shake it.
Erik lived with us for a short time but we were his friends for years. One day, I was feeling sorry for myself and laying in bed. The phone rang. I was so into feeling sorry for myself that I did not answer the phone. The person calling, hung up when the answering machine picked up.
That evening, I got a call saying that Erik had shot and killed himself after calling several rehabs and being told they had no room that morning. It was around the time of my hang up call.
As I sat stunned by the news and the feelings of dread that came over me, I began to "freak out" and felt as if the walls were crashing in. I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HAPPENED NEXT! I felt like someone slapped me. The thought ran through my head. "Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You have a beautiful daughter and home. There are others who have lost that and could use someone to comfort them. Forget yourself and help them."
It was like someone had taken me out of a fog and dunked me in a cold lake. I jumped up and called Erik's home. His aunt answered and I asked if I could come over. They said that would be great. I took my baby over who was now at an adorable age. She played with Erik's mom and got her to smile. I helped clean up the house and sort through Erik's belongings. I also planned and put on the luncheon after the funeral.
I have NEVER forgotten the lesson that Erik's situation taught me. It saved my life in so many ways. I
visited Erik's mom a few years ago and told her that story and she said, "Then Erik's death wasn't in vain."Here is a poem that Erik wrote a few weeks before his death. Such a sad loss of life but in his death, he gave me and those we serve a gift.
COCAINE
Some call her a friend
Some call her a lover
up until the end
She rules the mind, body
and soul
She kills without reason
You pay the toll
Cocaine is like a woman
Beautiful and bright
Cunning and deceitful
All through the night
She destroys the mind
but seems ever so kind
She drags you under
darkness surrounds you
Now you're alone
You try to hang on
but all feeling is gone
Now, when you need her
She is gone
Now you see her
ugly and demented
You see your mistake
all feelings have left you
you begin to shake
you think of death
destruction and hate
Love has no meaning
You now have met your fate
Cocaine is a killer
unfeeling, unkind
She goes for the heart
then strait for the mind
She makes you feel
unwanted and all alone
You want to get free
But she holds on
Erik 1988
Age seventeen
1970 - 1988
We miss you Erik!
No comments:
Post a Comment