The Hunger Games - Gratitude in the End

My princesses are counting the days until the movie "The Hunger Games" comes out this month. They have all read the books but I had not. We were discussing going to opening night of the movie even if it was a school night but I wasn't sure I was interested in that on a school night. Princess number 3 told me the other day that her school had book one and two of the series as audio cd's and that she could check them out for me.

As you know, I listen to audio books daily as I am cooking dinner or cleaning. I usually get through a book a week or so. I also listen while I drive. Here is a link about that. So, my daughter bringing home the audio copy of the book was a great idea, or so I thought........

I started listening to the book and it was so good, I hated to stop. So, instead, I started cleaning out my kitchen cupboards so I had an excuse to listen to the book. I couldn't stop. I had the whole thing listened to in one day. It was late when I finishing listening so I left a note on the case for Princess number three to get book two the next day.

The next day, I started listening after school when they brought it home and started cleaning out more cupboards and then my filing cabinet so I could listen and still feel like I was getting things done. I finished it up the next afternoon and went to the library only to find it closed at 4 p.m. on Fridays. That was news to me and it was too late to get the book from the school so I called a few friends asking if they had the third book.

One friend's son just bought the third book "The Mocking Jay" at the book fair at school but had just started reading it. Another friends said she would ask her kids and get back to me. I wanted to know how the story ended and this is the first weekend in months I haven't had anything going on. I walked into the kitchen and there on the dining room table was "The Mocking Jay." The only reason I knew the name of the third book was that I had called princess number 1 not 10 minutes before asking if the ipod application she had for audio books had the third book of "The Hunger Games" and she asked Prince number one what the name of the third book in the series was and he said, "The Mocking Jay!" I couldn't believe the book was on my front table.

I thought all the girls had finished the series and when Princess number four arrived home, I found out she was half way through the last book. So, I started reading it. Princess number three came home late and saw me reading on the couch and said, "I have never seen you sit down and read or relax like that before. I kinda like it." I was shocked by that and thought back and the last book series I read was probably about 12 years ago. While I was on the phone with Princess number one today, I told her I read it and what Princess number 3 said and she said she remembered me reading that series and how she used to remember me reading more when she was young. It is funny how as the children grow you think you will have more time but it seems now that they can't be gathered in and kept under my wings, they are all off in different direction and I am more busy than ever.

I enjoyed reading a book for the first time in years but remembered why I don't start a book. Once I am interested, I can't put it down. And, usually I am so tired that when I start reading, I fall asleep. I finished it in the wee hours of the morning. It was excellent. It didn't end like I thought it would but I was actually even more impressed with the last paragraph of the book than anything.

The last lines resonated with me in a way I didn't expect them to. The lines are:

"But one day, I'll have to explain to them about my nightmares. Why they came. Why they won't really ever go away.

I'll tell them how I survive it. I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it will be taken away. That's when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've seen someone do. It's like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after twenty years.

But, there are worse games I could play."

Those lines brought me back to first years of my divorce. It took almost 2 1/2 years to get divorced. I was so worried my girls would be taken from me as I fought for custody. That was the time I started my Gratitude journal and Gratitude frame.

I did have nightmares and the only way I could combat them was through Gratitude. Gratitude for those who supported me. Gratitude for people who listened when they had heard all my fears and trials before. Those who gave me clothes for my girls, dropped off food, left money taped to my door, and on and on and on..... So, my divorce started ten years ago but the nightmares were raging before it even started. So like the finishing lines of the book, it does seem a little repetitive when I lay down at night and give gratitude for my girls, their health, a bed, hot water, my pillow, heat, home etc, but my Father in Heaven knows, they aren't just empty words for me. I really am grateful for each of those things because I have seen those without, I could have lost that and much more during my divorce.

Thank you Suzanne Collins, for your amazingly gripping story but, most of all, for ending it with such a positive message. Life isn't always easy and people play games with themselves and others, but, we do have a choice how we react to those games. In the end, it is really up to us to focus on the positive or the negative. Thanks for your choice to end the books on a positive!