Monday, September 19, 2022

Taking a Leave - 111 - Colonoscopy - No Yard Sale

My life has been a bit crazy lately as I am trying to get all the medical tests I need done as soon as possible.   

I haven't had medical for so long, that there are many things I need to check out, and my age brings a few tests into being. I had the sleep study last week that I shared about in a post, and then starting the next morning, did a prep for a colonoscopy. I have never had one and had NO idea what the cleanse routine would do to my system. I wanted to help it along, so I ate a grapefruit which makes everything clean out as well. I don't eat red meat so there isn't lots of stuff stuck in there for much time anyway, and eating no gluten and only one meal a day. I figured it would be fairly clear. 

Let's just say that they should give you a diaper when telling you how to prep for this. I went to the store and barely made it home, but didn't quite get to the bathroom. So, I decided to stay home from that point on. I had cramps and was in the bathroom all night. So, not much sleep the night before due to the sleep study, and then in the bathroom most of the night of the prep, so I maybe got five hours of bad sleep in two nights. 

I go get the procedure and my sister is a saint for taking me there and back. They said it was super clear and no concerns at all, it looked boringly normal! All my friends that have had them done had polyps and had to have them removed. I was so grateful everything went well and things looked so good. I woke up wide awake and the orderly told me my blood pressure was like a teens and that I woke up abnormally fast and happy. So, all in all, it was a great day. However, I started to have cramping and gas from the procedure that evening. I climbed into bed early and woke an hour later to a pop in my neck and then couldn't get back to sleep. I guess maybe the position I was in on my side caused my neck some issues. Not being able to sleep, I got up and started going through things as I was going to have a yard sale this week. 

I was feeling so horrible Saturday, I was crying with so much bloating, cramping, and a headache as we have had rain every day. I was supposed to have a yard sale this past weekend but with the rain and the procedure, I just didn't have the energy to do it. I was going to put it out on Saturday, but couldn't. 

I was going to put it out on Sunday after church, but there was LOTS of wind, and a meeting on how to use the scripture app and I wanted to learn that but my phone was dead. I charged it for a few minutes after a video chat with my girls and went to the meeting. I got home feeling so horrible and tired after only a few hours sleep in four days that when my sister came to pick a few items up I needed delivered to family as she was heading to visit some, I told her I just didn't have the energy to do it. She called her husband and twin daughters to come over and help me put them out. 

I just am so exhausted that after they left, I just couldn't do it. I had told my sister prior to that, that I may leave town for a few weeks to just get away from everything and regroup on my life priorities. I have so much I want to do relating to my mom and it has been getting more and more clear that I need to fulfill the promises we made to her on her death bed to publish her book. I stopped working on it for a few years as her stuff was getting overwhelming and now I have nearly two bedrooms and some garage area with her items in it that I need to finish organizing, cleaning, refinishing, scanning, transferring to digital etc. 

I have decided that I am taking a break from my blog. I clearly haven't done much with my YouTube channel or blog, and I keep getting notifications from Google telling me there are issues with my blog but GOOGLE owns Blogger and I can't even reply to comments anymore. It takes so much longer to post as the action buttons don't work. So, it is nearly impossible to find my blog posts on google due to the issues with blogger that I can't fix, so I will be taking a leave for now. I have over 3000 posts on there, and over 1000 videos on my YouTube channel. I have 81 I have uploaded and never taken the time to list as it takes about an hour per video and I still have lots of videos that I haven't even uploaded to YouTube that may never get uploaded or posted on YouTube. 

I keep sending YouTube suggestions to allow people to republish videos that are old and not getting views without the algorithm putting and keeping them at the bottom. I think if they would allow a "republish" button for people who have older videos on there, they would get more views as the videos would now have tags and could be found. 

I started YouTube in 2010 and so much has changed in the nearly 13 years I have been posting on YouTube. I think kids now don't want to read a blog, they want to watch short videos as their attention spans have gotten down to seconds. The most popular videos are the ones that add cuts to recapture their audiences attention every few seconds. It is a sad state for our society that people can't focus for more than a few seconds, but I feel it is time to focus on other things rather than blogging. 

I have enjoyed watching my children grow as the blog was like a journal for my family. I may pick it up again at some point, but it won't be with blogger as it is beyond help, and I think Google gave up trying to fix the bugs hoping people would move on. 

I am exhausted, falling asleep more and more as I have tried to blog these past few months, and it has lost is enjoyment in my life as I have had some nasty stalkers write dirty things about my family members as there are perverts everywhere, having been online for such a long time, I got a few pedophiles commenting and have had to delete a few posts due to the attention they drew. 

I thank those of you who have followed me for so many years and am sorry to those that I haven't been able to reply to these past many months, but appreciate all the comments you have all given me over the years. 

I thought it was so funny that two of my video's yesterday got 111 views. I took it as a sign that the choices I am making in my world are the best for my family.

I am grateful to my sister and her family for helping me put the tables out and I am sure tomorrow, he will help me put them back as I am planning some visits to my kids since I am taking this break, I want to connect with those who bring JOY into my life! I am so blessed with healthy and happy children and want peace and joy in my life. They are the peace and joy in my world! 

I will maintain the horsehairinhumans website and my YouTube videos as I feel a need, but taking this break will be such a relief. Can you imagine writing an hour or more blog post every day and a few weekends for almost 13 years! I had hoped it would bring me some financial relief, but I make less than $20 a month on the blog and I spend at least 5-10 hours taking photos, editing them, transferring them, and adding videos sometimes and then writing the post. 

If I have helped anyone, it was worth it, but it is still a fun history for my family and my kids will look up their favorite recipes at times. I think they will be happy I am not blogging anymore, but it has been a good outlet for me to share those things in a way that will allow them to be there for my grandchildren as well. 

I feel truly blessed to have this in my world and know it helped in other ways I can't share publicly, but I feel that God put it in the right hands at the right time to bless me in so many ways! I am grateful for the gratitude moments that are now there for my family to see. My 111 moments, and my "Trust in God" posts, that they can know the ways that my Father in Heaven speaks to me, and has blessed my life! 

I want to thank those friends who have been with me most of the way. Sara for suggesting I write a blog, Julie and Julie for their many generous comments and gifts, Jay for teaching me so many thing I would never have thought of on my own etc. My kids for their patience in allowing me to post their good days and their bad. My friend Katie who gave me one of my "Biggest Wins" and always has a kind word for my posts and videos. My siblings for the many times they have helped me with weddings, activities, crafts, family history projects, reunions etc. I truly love that God gave me a place to share my gratitude for so many things! 

And possibly for the last time, I hope you have a BLESSED DAY!

Friday, September 16, 2022

Sleep Study Takes Time

I talked to my Dr. many months ago about getting a sleep study as I think it may be part of my health issues. I got a referral to the pulmonologist and I met with him several months ago. 

The pulmonologist gave me a referral for a sleep study. I waited for a call from them as they told me I needed to just wait until they contacted me. A month or more goes past and I don't hear anything. I then call and get the number for the sleep study people and call several different times to schedule something. 

I finally get a teleconference with a PA and the soonest I can get a consult to discuss even getting a sleep study is December 21, 2022. I couldn't believe that it wasn't even for the study itself, but just a consult to discuss a study. Even more crazy, is that I took any appointment I could get in the state in that hospital chain. It was the first ANY of the hospitals had! 

I went recently to my Primary Care Physician and asked him if there were any sleeps studies more local. He made a referral and the place he tried doesn't take my insurance, so they referred me to another place out of a city a few hours away, but they have a deal with the local hospital to do the local tests so people don't have to travel far. 

I was able to get an appointment within a few weeks and yesterday, I picked up the kit to do the sleep study at my own home. I put it on, but didn't enjoy having it around my chest all night. There were chords going every which way and I got tangled a few times, and the oxygen tubes up my nose were really irritating, so I hope I don't need to repeat the test as I didn't get much sleep. 

I am really grateful that I didn't have to wait until December to get my test done and also don't want to have to deal with it over the holidays. They told me that it would take a week or two to get the results.

I am interested to hear back and hope that we can figure out something that can work to help with my apnea as the c-pap machines have never worked even after trying several different face masks. Here is a post to one I tried many years ago. I would love to start feeling better! 

Have a blessed day!

Thursday, September 15, 2022

Finding a Lost Treasure

I mentioned going to visit my sister and going through more of my mothers estate items. We split up items and I ended up with the items no one wanted to sell at my annual yard sale. 

When my younger sister was dropping off the items the next day we pulled out the reel-to-reel player and I was going to just drop it off that day at a second hand store but my younger sister said we should look inside. 

We opened up the dusty / mildewed player and there were three reels inside. I was SO grateful my younger sister mentioned opening it. I have a better / cleaner player that I used to listen to all the reels my mother had. I haven't taken the time to go through the stuff I brought home yet having been sick etc, but tonight, I felt like I should clean up that reel player so I could put it in my yard sale. 

I pulled out the player and spent and hour cleaning it up and then turned it on and it doesn't work. I think it can be fixed but since I have a working one, I don't want to take the time to fix it. I pulled out the reels and found that one was a meeting or an interview of my father, one I can't read well that doesn't look like it is my mom or dad, and the last one is an absolute treasure if it is really what it says it is. 

My mother was a beauty queen for the USA before she got married. It says that it is a talk she gave just after winning the pageant! It states that it is the only copy of that talk and that it broke in the middle and she kept the small pieces if needed to splice back together but that is only a small section, so I am hoping that it really is her speaking and that I will be able to transfer it to a digital format.

The area where I transferred the audio files over to digital has been unused for five years or so. I got so overwhelmed with the amount of it that I stopped changing them over. I still have just under 200 audio cassettes to listen to and transfer, and then boxes of vhs, dvds, and cd's to transfer over. I would love to get that finished and clean out that bedroom of all her stuff, but I still have boxes of papers to sort and need to scan it all and then organized it in order digitally. I also have all my parents love letter from my dad while he was serving as a missionary in Australia, to my mother traveling the world as a beauty queen. Both have terrible cursive writing and wrote very small to put more information in the air mail letters. 

I probably have enough stuff to keep me busy for ten years straight, but if I look at the amount of it, I get overwhelmed, so I need to just look at one project at a time. So for now, I got one thing out of the house and out of my sisters garage, and now I have three large reels to listen to, but I am looking forward to hearing the reels. 

I feel like my mother is bringing items to me. There are several other interesting things that have happened in the past two weeks, and I feel that she is gathering family history items together for me. Maybe I will share about some of the other little miracles that have come this past week. God is amazing to organize all these things at the same time. 

Have a blessed day!

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

Unanswered Prayers

There is a girl / woman who I know who doesn't want to pierce her ears for whatever reason. Over the years, as I go through jewelry bags, I have given her cute clip on earrings. I see her wearing earrings I have given her many times in the past. 

I dropped off two pair of earrings today, and while standing on the porch of that home, I looked around and remembered that when we first moved here, we made a bid on that home as there was nothing to purchase as there was a housing shortage. We ended up living in a motel for months as we couldn't find a place and made bids on three different homes that were for sale. We didn't get any of the homes. 

The home they live in, is one of the homes we bid on and didn't get. I really didn't like the layout of the home but were were just desperate enough to get out of the motel that we made several bids on the house even though it had some big issues we didn't like. The basement windows were not code and we knew we couldn't put kids in those rooms. It also didn't have a garage, and the sidewalks were a mess. 

Because the market was so tight, we couldn't afford the price they were asking for the home. A bit later, we had a friend tell us they couldn't afford the home they had agreed to purchase, so I called the owner and said that my friend said we could buy it if we wanted. The owner of this home said she had three other people in line to purchase it but since my friend said we could have it, she allowed us to look at it and then said we could buy it. We took the owners to dinner and gave them a down payment that night. 

When I look at the condition of my home and the condition of the other home, I feel so blessed to have NOT gotten that home when we bid on it. The home I have now has been such a blessing for my family. 

I was standing on their porch waiting for them to come to the door and the screen was open and I waited for quite a long time and in those few moments I noticed many things on the house and was giving gratitude for my home. It is so interesting to look back and see God's hand in my life back then. 

As I was leaving after giving the mom the earring for the daughter, I had the Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers" come into my head. The lyrics are below:

Just the other night at a hometown football gameMy wife and I ran into my old high school flameAnd as I introduced them the past came back to meAnd I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be
She was the one that I'd wanted for all timesAnd each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mineAnd if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back thenI'd never ask for anything again
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayersRemember when you're talkin' to the man upstairsThat just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't careSome of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers
She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreamsAnd I could tell that time had changed meIn her eyes too it seemedWe tried to talk about the old daysThere wasn't much we could recallI guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all
And as she walked away and I looked at my wifeAnd then and there I thanked the good LordFor the gifts in my life
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayersRemember when you're talkin' to the man upstairsThat just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't careSome of God's greatest gifts are unanswered
Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers
It just was about that house rather than an old girlfriend. I know I am so blessed to have such a lovely home on a quiet street as theirs is on a busy street. The list of differences goes on an on. I am very grateful to my Father in Heaven for always watching over me. 
Have a blessed day! 

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

A New Friend Named Gene

I had the neatest experience while at a thrift shop returning an item. I was in the toy isle waiting to talk with the assistant manager about the return, and I made a comment to a woman in the isle and we had an exchange about toys of something. 

The lady went around the corner of the isle and then back up and said, “I want to tell you something. You are a beautiful person. You are always happy, kind, friendly, and my sister and I were talking about you last week and how you are always so friendly. My sister told me I should tell you, but said I would never do it, so I figured I would tell you next time I saw you.” 

I said, “Are you sure it is me you are talking about? People often get my sister, or my friend and I confused.”  She said, “No, it is you. We have noticed you at different stores and different times and you are always so friendly, kind etc.” 

I said, “You think I am pretty looking like this?” as I had no makeup on and my hair was pulled up as I had been so tired and not feeling well. She said, “No, not pretty, but BEAUTIFUL inside, you are a beautiful woman and person. Kind to everyone and friendly. You glow!” 

I then asked if I knew her. She said they didn’t know me but had just been observing me for years. I asked her name and she said she was related to someone whose name I recognized. I said my daughter used to be close with their daughter. This woman was related to the dad. 

She then said she was related to some family named ? which I recognized from the movie I was in and asked if she was related to the producer for my movie and she said she was related to him. 

I then asked her name, and she said Gene. I asked if I could give her a hug and take a photo. She said I could and told me she was a preschool teacher at the head start. I told her a few of my girls went there and mentioned our last name and she said she recognized it. 

I thought it was super sweet. It made my day. I then got a thank you note for a reply on the secret is gratitude Facebook page. Missy asked me a few days ago how I stay so positive and happy when dealing with the parasites. She thanked me for my reply and between the two women, I felt that God had reassured me today that I am doing well in trying to help others. 

Sometimes I think we allow others who are negative to break us into pieces word by word, deed by dead, and judgement by judgement! 

I am grateful that Gene had the courage to approach me today. Maybe it was her sister challenging her, but either way she had to have the courage to say what she did. Not everyone is as open and forward as I am, so I appreciate her going out of her comfort zone. 

Have a blessed day!

Monday, September 12, 2022

Online Dating - Is It Worth It

Years ago, I made a few different posts divorce and mention online dating in those posts. Here are links to those posts.

Here is a link to Part 1 of that post. 

Here is a link to part 2 of that post. 

For many years, I got offline as I decided to focus on raising my girls. I have met some wonderful men online. I have also had some horrible experiences online. 

Once my girls were all out of the house, my girls told me I should get back online, but I told them when I was young and cute they didn't want me to date, and now that I am old and overweight, they want me to date. ha ha

I keep telling my girls to get online and date and they tell me they will if I will, or that I should put myself out there. So, every so often, I put myself online. Recently, I had a "match" with someone that lives within 500 miles. 

I normally ask men a list of questions to get to know them better as I don't want to drive many hours to meet someone to find out he is still married, or someone I wouldn't be interested in dating. I first like to get basic questions asked and see how open they are as if they are still married, they avoid answering questions. 

I have dated many men over the years and have some crazy stories, but for some reason, many men seem to lie about their age online. Many lie about having a finalized divorce. Many are just trying to get something. I am fairly jaded now as I have seen so may things. 

I was trying to get to know this man I matched with, and he was avoiding answering questions and kept asking to meet or talk on the phone. I would repeat the questions and he would then answer the questions and I would ask more questions and I noticed that he didn't fill out many questions in the profile so I wondered if he was hiding something. 

We had only 21 texts between us, but in the last exchange, he mentions that he has a nephew living in my town. He had no way of knowing that the person he mentioned is married to one of my closest bunko friends! I ended up calling her and asking about her husbands uncle. When I mentioned his name, she said he has a cousin with that name. She got her husband on the phone and said it was his cousin who is older than he is so he didn't know him well. At that point, I thought that odd as the man had his age as 57, and my friends husband is older than me. 

I asked how old my friends husband is and he said he was 59. He mentioned that his cousin is probably 10 years older than him. Things just weren't adding up. I asked some questions about the profile and he clarifies what he knows, but it isn't much as he was so much older than my friend. 

I sent them a photo of him asking if he was the same man, and they said it was him but maybe he mistyped his age on his profile. I love that they think the best of people. I have just been around the block so many times online. My best friend brother was online. He had been divorced twice. He had 8 kids, and on his online profile, he put his age as 10 years younger than he is. He says he only has half the amount of children and only mentions one divorce. 

I am not sure why so many men lie about things online. I am sure women do lie online as well, but since I am only dealing with men, I can only speak to how many men I have met who have lied about being divorce, or their age, or one man told me he was a widower and was divorced twice besides one passing away, but only mentioned the death online. 

It is amazing to me how people can pass of their bad behavior and justify the lies so easily. I was grateful that in our short conversations that he mentioned knowing my friend so I could save myself time meeting him. I am not interested in meeting someone who isn't truthful. It is interesting though as I thought he looked older in his photos that he was saying he was. I should trust my instincts and could save myself some stress. 

I don't think meeting someone on line is in the cards for me! ha ha 

Have a blessed day!

Friday, September 9, 2022

Another Birthday Surprise - More Gifts

Imagine my surprise today when I got another birthday card in the mail! It didn't have a return address and I thought it may be from my dad and step-mom as they usually send a card, but this year they are taking me to lunch. 

I opened it and was really shocked to see it was from my friend Matt. I got several packages around my birthday and asked Matt if they were from him as I didn't want to open the packages I got without video chatting the person who sent it. He told me he didn't send anything. 

I looked at the mail date and my mouth dropped open when I saw that he sent it on August 20 and it came to me on September 8th! It took almost 3 weeks to get to me in the mail! It had three stamps saying it was "non-machinable" so I think it was an odd sized card as I have seen this happen in the past where it won't fit through the automated system and I think because it didn't have a return address, it had to be dealt with by a human.

It was really a huge surprise getting that card today. It had a $100 visa gift card in it. It was a very thoughtful gift for me as this next few months is always a hard time with house taxes, house and car insurance renewals, as well as the holidays. It is so sweet that he sent a gift! He has sent me many wonderful gifts, and I shared in past blog posts, that I have not always been the best at accepting gifts from men, especially friends that are men, so he has been patient with me about that. I have one last gift that I will be getting soon that he ordered last year, but has taken time to be made and sent across the country, and I am excited to get to see it soon. 

I also have a spa gift I mentioned before from my sister that she won in a raffle and gave me for my birthday. I don't know that I have ever had such a drawn out birthday, but I am not complaining. What a fun BIRTHDAY I have had this year! 

Have a blessed day!