Monday, September 12, 2022

Online Dating - Is It Worth It

Years ago, I made a few different posts divorce and mention online dating in those posts. Here are links to those posts.

Here is a link to Part 1 of that post. 

Here is a link to part 2 of that post. 

For many years, I got offline as I decided to focus on raising my girls. I have met some wonderful men online. I have also had some horrible experiences online. 

Once my girls were all out of the house, my girls told me I should get back online, but I told them when I was young and cute they didn't want me to date, and now that I am old and overweight, they want me to date. ha ha

I keep telling my girls to get online and date and they tell me they will if I will, or that I should put myself out there. So, every so often, I put myself online. Recently, I had a "match" with someone that lives within 500 miles. 

I normally ask men a list of questions to get to know them better as I don't want to drive many hours to meet someone to find out he is still married, or someone I wouldn't be interested in dating. I first like to get basic questions asked and see how open they are as if they are still married, they avoid answering questions. 

I have dated many men over the years and have some crazy stories, but for some reason, many men seem to lie about their age online. Many lie about having a finalized divorce. Many are just trying to get something. I am fairly jaded now as I have seen so may things. 

I was trying to get to know this man I matched with, and he was avoiding answering questions and kept asking to meet or talk on the phone. I would repeat the questions and he would then answer the questions and I would ask more questions and I noticed that he didn't fill out many questions in the profile so I wondered if he was hiding something. 

We had only 21 texts between us, but in the last exchange, he mentions that he has a nephew living in my town. He had no way of knowing that the person he mentioned is married to one of my closest bunko friends! I ended up calling her and asking about her husbands uncle. When I mentioned his name, she said he has a cousin with that name. She got her husband on the phone and said it was his cousin who is older than he is so he didn't know him well. At that point, I thought that odd as the man had his age as 57, and my friends husband is older than me. 

I asked how old my friends husband is and he said he was 59. He mentioned that his cousin is probably 10 years older than him. Things just weren't adding up. I asked some questions about the profile and he clarifies what he knows, but it isn't much as he was so much older than my friend. 

I sent them a photo of him asking if he was the same man, and they said it was him but maybe he mistyped his age on his profile. I love that they think the best of people. I have just been around the block so many times online. My best friend brother was online. He had been divorced twice. He had 8 kids, and on his online profile, he put his age as 10 years younger than he is. He says he only has half the amount of children and only mentions one divorce. 

I am not sure why so many men lie about things online. I am sure women do lie online as well, but since I am only dealing with men, I can only speak to how many men I have met who have lied about being divorce, or their age, or one man told me he was a widower and was divorced twice besides one passing away, but only mentioned the death online. 

It is amazing to me how people can pass of their bad behavior and justify the lies so easily. I was grateful that in our short conversations that he mentioned knowing my friend so I could save myself time meeting him. I am not interested in meeting someone who isn't truthful. It is interesting though as I thought he looked older in his photos that he was saying he was. I should trust my instincts and could save myself some stress. 

I don't think meeting someone on line is in the cards for me! ha ha 

Have a blessed day!

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