I'm Doing OK - It's All Good

If your a subscriber on my YouTube channel, you will notice that I haven't updated my parasite videos or posted many videos lately. I also haven't finished the last little bit of the webpage that I am nearly finished making about the parasites. 

I have had so many things going on with my house, yard, health, and family, that I can't get back into those things. It seems that when the house is closed up when it is cold and the furnace is blowing, the methane gas situation I have gets so much more magnified. I get nausea each time the furnace starts to run as well as dizzy spells and heart palpitations and a little hot flash. 

My girls are so understanding of my fatigue, and so kind to ask what they can do to help. When I am feeling so horrible and tired and like I am not getting anything done, I have to take a step back and look at what I have done, what I do when I have energy, and how I make others feel?

I may not be as active as I used to be. I may not feel like I used to, but I know my heart is in the same place. I still help at the food bank. I still help neighbors. I am there for my kids. I do what I can do, but I just do it in the way I can do it. 

My children are always so good to send me little notes, texts, and emails sharing how much they love and appreciate me. I also get many friends, neighbors, and people who work with my girls telling me how wonderful they think my girls are and how different they are from other youth etc. I think sometimes I don't appreciate the comments as much as I usually downplay compliments as it seems like if I accept them, I am self important or absorbed. 

I KNOW how amazing my girls are. I KNOW what hard workers my girls are. I KNOW how much service they do for others. I KNOW what a good mother Princess One is. I KNOW what good leaders my girls are.

Princess Three was asked to be a leader of the women's group of her church group about five months ago. Princess Four was asked to be the leader of the women's group in her church about two months ago, and Princess Two was asked recently to be a leader in the higher up group of women over the leaders of the local church groups. Princess Five is serving as a missionary currently and Princess One is raising some gifted children while teaching a Religious class, is happily married, and is serving others in her neighborhood. 

Princess Four sent me this text recently and I have looked at it a few times this past month when I have been at my most fatigued. I changed a few words that were personal.
"Hi mom! I wanted to tell you why I'm grateful for you as my mom.  

I love that you taught me to trust in God. Teaching Missionary lessons with Sara has opened my eyes to how blessed I am for the knowledge I have. I don't need to fear anything. Not dad, or new callings, or school, or the unknown. I don't need to fear, just trust God.

I love that you taught me to be strong. I have many weaknesses, but you taught me how to work through them and overcome them. That's where strength lies.

You taught me to be happy, do service, and give gratitude. Not many individuals have the recipe of happiness, but you have been teaching me to keep commandments, and forget myself in order to be happy. Thank you for that.

You have nurtured me spiritually, mentally, and physically. I have never doubted your faith or testimony. You have always reminded me of your love, and how you want me. You have gone out of your way to ensure I had every need met, as well as many desires. 

You have taught me to receive revelation, and give the credit to God, even when people ridicule or mock inspiration. 

I learned from you the power to teach for understanding. I have always admired how you seem to know just what to say to me or others. You give examples or analogies that fit our understanding. I felt silly during lessons with Sara when I would put in my two cents until she thanked me. She said she appreciates how easy I make it to understand what other try to teach. I know I learned this skill from your example in discerning the spirit.

You have been an example of drawing on heavenly power. I'm still trying to understand this aspect of the gospel, and how it blesses me, but you taught me that I have access to all of the Lords blessings regardless of the choices of those around me. You have kept your covenants, and this inspires me to keep mine. 

You taught me the importance of repentance. I needed that lesson, and I'm grateful I had you to teach me at an extremely young age. I know church members aren't perfect, which you have also taught me, but I know the Savior is. The unworthiness of others doesn't define or limit the blessings I can receive.

I'm tearing up in the school computer lab typing this out. I'm so grateful for you mom. I am grateful I get to call you mom. You set the mom standard really high. I may not have lived the life you wished for me, but I'm so grateful for my trials, and the trust I have in God and the Savior.

I learned from you the importance of feeling comfortable in the Saviors presence no matter how unworthy I may be or feel. 

You taught me the essentials of getting through this life with all the craziness that Satan is behind. 

I hope to be able to teach my children the way you have taught yours. I'm glad I get to be a jewel in your crown, because it belongs to the prettiest queen I've ever met.

I love you mom!"

It's things like that which remind me I am OK, and my girls are OK, and we can get through these health situations and trials as we have all the other trials and difficult situations we have had to endure. 

When I am feeling horrible, tired, and like I am getting nothing done, I just have to take a second and look at who my girls are and what they are spending their time doing. They are all serving others! I know when they meet their Maker, they will be able to face HIM with the knowledge that they served Him by serving HIS sheep. I don't think that anything could make me happier in life than knowing that even if I didn't do it all perfectly, I did something right just by seeing who my girls have turned into as women! 

So, in my fatigue, and nausea filled moments in the past few months in this closed off methane poisoned house, I am grateful for that glimmer of sunshine I have each day when I think of my girls. I know that I am doing OK and "It's all good!"

Have a Blessed Day!