Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Charm Necklaces for the Grand-Daughters and Great-Grand-Daughters at the Funeral

I wrote a post a few weeks back about taking my mothers Beauty Queen silver charm bracelet and taking the charms off and putting them onto silver chains for the grand-daughters. 
I ordered the chains online and know that they weren't really silver even though they were stamped "925 Italy" on them. By the time they came and I checked them out, I didn't have time to get new ones so I went ahead and used them but contacted the seller and they refunded me most of the money I spent if I wouldn't give them a bad review on ebay. 

I put the charms on them and then my sister had some gift jewelry boxes that were perfect for the necklaces so I put them in the boxes and took them up to the funeral knowing that all of the grand-daughters would be there except those serving as missionaries all over the world.  

Here is the link where I talked about making them. Before making them, I asked my 20 year old niece if I made them into necklaces, would she like that and wear it. She told me she would. Later that week, Princess Three called and told me that she had run into her cousin and her cousin was really excited about me making the necklace charms. 

I also asked my girls if they would like them and they all said they would. So, I spent the time making them and put them out at the funeral and had my sisters draw names out of a "hat" and the girls got to choose a necklace with a charm from my mothers beauty pageant traveling the world days! 
I thought it was a hit and all the girls seemed to have a smile and most put them on right there and then. I took pictures of the ones I could catch with them but was doing other things and really didn't have much to do with giving them out. In fact, I don't know that most of the girls knew I made them or ordered them as my sisters were the ones giving them out.  

The parents and siblings picked out a necklace for the missionaries when their names were drawn out so they got something as well. I sent the missionaries cards today from my mothers house with $2 bills in them that I found when cleaning out the house. I also included a copy of the funeral program and shared with them about how the poem on the back of the program was found the night before I sent her home and how it was dedicated to one of my nephews who is now serving as a missionary in Georgia. Click here for the post where I share her poem.

I was cleaning out my mothers house when one of my brothers said I offended his daughter by forcing her to take junk of my mothers. I was taken back as I hadn't even been involved in it but he said on the way home from the funeral, she complained about feeling forced to take one. I told him I would call her and apologize if I made her feel that way but since I hadn't been involved in handing them out, I wasn't sure what happened. I told him she could have just said she wasn't interested and not taken one as I am SURE that any of the other girls would have loved taking two. He said in the future I should say, "If you would like to participate" if I give something out. 

I then shared with him how it was his other daughter that told me she would like to have the bracelet made into a necklace and told me how long of a chain to order and the type of chain she wanted, how thick etc. I told him that I ordered that exact size and length of chain just for his daughter and that she was the reason I made the necklaces. He said, "So you did all that just for my daughter?" I told him I had. I was really surprised that he didn't say "thank you" or "I'm sorry" or "I'll tell my other daughter that" but just said in the future, I should word things differently. He told me not to call his other daughter to tell her I was sorry but I felt if I offended anyone, I should make a call. 

I called her a few days later and she seemed taken back by the call but I told her I made them as her sister told me how she wanted them and said she thought it would be cool and that if she wanted to give it back, I was sure others would like it if she didn't and that I was truly sorry if I EVER made her feel forced into anything I have planned or provided in the past and that I loved her and thought I was doing something to help or they would like but if it didn't come across that way, I was truly sorry and that the situation made me realize that often, I think I am doing something someone would like but in the end, it isn't and I may just be wasting my time and theirs doing something they may not like or want. She assured me she liked the necklace but said she wasn't sure how her father thought she didn't want it but in the end, I think I need to take a step back and evaluate what I am spending my time on as it seems like I think I am doing some great thing and others don't see it that way. 

I did smile when I saw another niece two days in a row and she was wearing it both days and said she LOVES it and my daughter has been wearing hers with her other charms every day as well so I guess it really does depend on the person. 

Since I didn't get any "Thank You" hugs or comments, one persons negative comment can make me not want to do anything else like that even when I have several things planned. I feel like just changing the plan and not spending time on it but then I realize that perhaps when I do things like that which take time and money out of my own pocket, it may make some of the siblings feel guilty for not helping out or not spending time and money on my kids and perhaps it isn't the kids saying anything at all. Or, perhaps the kids hear their parents complaining and want to join in.... I truly don't know why things are said or where the negative comes from but I hate that one negative comment can make me feel like I don't want to do anymore fun things for my nieces and nephews so I will have to give it more thought and prayer and decide if it is worth my time and effort and do it for those that do enjoy getting things from "grandma" that remind them of her life and travels. 

This is a life lesson I have learned before but tend to forget as I don't expect that type of thing from family but it happens at work, organizations etc where one negative person or comment can keep you from excelling in other areas. I just need to remind myself that I didn't do it for just one person but for the whole and as long as the "whole" is happy, I will continue to share. 

The charms seemed to be a hit and I was VERY grateful that I listened to my heart when ordering as I had one number in and then changed it and had the exact amount of necklaces I needed to put all the charms out and when they had all the grand-daughters pick, there was the exact amount left for each of the great-grand-daughters to have a charm necklace as well! 

How cool that I added just enough to have all the girls in the family get a charm off my mom's bracelet! 

My mother loved jewelry and wanted to share it with all her grand-children and she LOVED the idea of the charm necklaces when I shared it with her while she was here. I am sure she was smiling down from heaven watching each girl pick their favorite charm and then seeing them wear them daily must make her smile even now. 

This niece in the bottom picture was wearing it as she came to help clean out my mothers house. She was the only grand child that asked several times if she could come and help as we were cleaning out the apartment. She came and helped me sort papers and do some cleaning. She was wearing a cute little moving fish charm and said she "LOVES IT" and she had a special bond with my mother as they were both such free spirits liking much of the same things in life. 

I was so glad that she loved it and I know I took a picture of her wearing it but can't seem to find it but perhaps I used my other camera. Anyway, I think for the most part the necklaces were a hit and am excited to see the girls wearing them. 

Princess Five has an abacus from Asia on her necklace as I type this. She loved the charm and it looks cute on her with her princess crown charm she always wears. Even if no one else did like them, my girls were happy with them so it was worth it just for them!

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