Feeling Worthy to Stand with God!

This isn't the blog that I had intended to write today. Sometimes our lives take on their own life. Today was one of those days. It was a stressful day with health issues and life issues of the divorced. With this crazy day, I was humbled to kneel and pray and bear my soul to God for help overcoming this new obstacle in my life. The impression was that I needed to take a step back, regroup and pray for inspiration.

Doing that, the thought of what I should blog about came into my mind. With my friend having problems asking Heavenly Father to show him he is loved, I remembered back to about 6 years ago when I was in a similar place.

One day I was in the middle of my divorce and I was doing laundry and I was walking up the stairs in my home when I looked up and saw a painting of Christ that sits at the top of my stairs. I looked it in the eye and immediately looked down in shame. I thought to myself, "Why would I look down rather than feeling comfortable looking at the painting?" I realized that I didn't feel like I was worthy to stand in God's presence.

That thought was very upsetting to me. For most of my life I have gone to church and prayed. I had no idea that under all that, I felt unworthy to be near God. From that day, I prayed that I would be able to let go of any feelings or beliefs I had that would keep me from feeling like I could stand with my Heavenly Father and my brother Christ. It took me two years to overcome that feeling. Here is what I did to help me get through those feelings.

I prayed for help. Because there was a war in Heaven, we fought for agency to come to earth and be tested. With that agency, God is bound to allow us to make mistakes. However, if we ask for his help, he can then step in and help. If we don't ask, he can't help because of our agency.

I then put as many paintings of Christ around my home as I could find. You have seen my "Christ table" and I have tried to put a painting in every room. I would force myself to look at the picture and ask myself, "What is within me that keeps me from feeling like I can look him in the eye?" Whatever comes up, I ask God to help me let go of that feeling or issue.

I would close my eyes and picture Christ standing before me. I would ask him for help letting go of "?" whatever feeling or emotion I was feeling at the time. Anger at my ex, sadness that my marriage had failed, regret that I had been harsh on my children. Whatever feeling that made me feel unworthy to stand in his presence. I would hand Christ the feeling and situation and say a prayer similar to this. "Dear Heavenly Father, I am feeling "?" today and have carried this issue around with me for a long time in many different situation. I no longer want to have this feeling and ask for thy help in giving it to Christ."

At this point, I picture myself handing the situation to Christ in my mind. I then thank Christ for taking it and ask if he has anything to tell me. I don't really hear him say anything but sometimes I get a feeling of overwhelming love or acceptance or other impressions.

Then, I picture Christ handing me the healing love of Christ and I picture that going in and filling the void left where the negative feeling had been in my body. I then thank him for atoning for my sins, picture myself hugging him and thank Heavenly Father for sacrificing his son and close in Christs name. ALWAYS thank both Heavenly Father and Christ!

Two things with this. One - If you give me a plant for my birthday and you come and water it daily, did you give me the plant? "No" so, if you give Christ the thing that you are working on and then proceed to worry and talk and stew about it, did you really give the problem or issue to him? "No!"

So, once you give him the problem you are working on, if it comes to your mind, quickly picture Christ there and hand it to him and thank him for worrying about it for you. It is no longer your plant to water!

Second, if you are walking through the grass and you pull out a rock and there is a hole left, what happens when it rains? Mud will be there making a mess. However, you take out that rock and replace it with a few seeds and cover it with some dirt, now what happens when it rains? Same rain! But, something beautiful can grow!

So, when you take out a negative thought or emotion and you don't fill it with something light and good, when it rains emotionally, it will fill up with the same murky muddy emotions that came out. (This is just like dust in a room will flow toward a magnet, remove the magnet and it will fall to the ground evenly)

If you fill the spot with Christs healing light, when it rains emotionally, something beautiful like these flowers can grow. You can then see the situation with different eyes.

When I have a stressful situation, I try to see some reason to be grateful right off which makes the situation seem smaller in perspective.

Doing those things and sitting in rooms with Christ on a regular basis has helped me overcome that feeling of worthiness. Give yourself time. As I said, it took me two years to really feel comfortable looking Him in the eye.

One day, I had a woman come to pick up my daughter for something. It was dark. I asked her to come and sit in my front room. She sat and then I turned on the light. She about came out of her chair as she looked at the wall in front of her and instantly became VERY uncomfortable. She had a huge weight issue and a low self esteem. I could see the paintings made her self conscious. I guess I wasn't the only one with worthiness issues so that is what I felt to write about today.

I hope in the end, we will all stand lovingly and in peace together with Christ.