I have been involved in several organizations for lengthy periods of time and have worked well within those groups with no issues for many years. Awhile back, I was introduced to someone in one of those groups and "Red Flags" went off in my head immediately. This person kept approaching me and calling me asking what I would do with the situations and group if I were in charge.
I went against my gut and trusted this person and things then got bad rather quickly in the organization and people were arguing and having issues.
I myself had issues come up and tried to resolve them in the normal fashion, but due to this person's influence over a few key people, almost everyone in that group was forced to leave or quit due to the stresses of the situation. I have personally been stressed over the situation for months. This week has brought many stresses associated with that situation.
Also, this week, another situation I have watched over the past year came to a close. There is a store in town that used to be frequented by many regulars. We would visit in the isles and talk and we even had a potluck party at the park and each brought a white elephant from that store.
About a year ago, a new person came to work at the store and things began to change. All the workers at that store were friendly and everyone felt at home there. One by one, the workers that were beloved left, others complained to me that the new person was making their job miserable and it wasn't as fun anymore.
I went in one day and saw that worker raising her voice at a couple and accusing them of changing price-tags on the item they were trying to purchase. The front of the store was full of customers and the husband said, "There is an entire shelf of these same items with the same price on them." and this person said, "Well, they shouldn't be marked that way so if you want it you need to pay the higher price." The customers left without anything.
As customers left the store super upset, I felt they would never shop at the store again. I went to the back of the store and sure enough, there was a shelf full of the items with the lower price tags on them.I talked to the store manager and said that the person was giving the entire Christian community a bad name with their behavior as the store was a Christian operated store. He told the worker that I complained and the next time I was in the store I saw her actually talking nice to a customer and thought that maybe the manager had gotten his point across to this worker.
However, when I went to his office and told him I saw her being nicer, I left his office, and this person attacked me in the middle of the store with customer around asking if I was complaining the to the manager again. I mentioned that the way they were acting just at that moment would be exactly what I had complained about. By confronting me in front of other customers, they see it and become afraid to be around the worker.
I mentioned that I was telling the manager that I had seen them be better with customers but now was regretting that conversation because other shoppers were now standing around us wondering what was going on and getting involved in the conversation.
I told the manager that if that worker had accused me at the register, I would never have said anything because I don't like confrontation, however, the fact that it was at the front of the store and many people were watching, I felt like it reflected bad on our religion as we are supposed to be Christian and that type of conflict in any store with a customer is not appropriate. I felt that maybe the manager wasn't aware of the way this person was interacting with the customers and I knew him well, so I felt that since it could affect relations with our church, I needed to say something.
I can not tell you how many people outside of that store told me they didn't like shopping there anymore due to that worker not working well with people. The entire energy at the store changed. I stopped saying anything to the manager as it had only made the worker hate me and I can usually get along with anyone.
People stopped going as the prices were so high things weren't selling and then would get thrown out or be on the shelves for months without being marked down.
I mentioned to the manager this week that I have had several people approach me outside the store and ask how I thought things were going there as they knew I was a regular. He then told me that this one unhappy worker was leaving! I went in yesterday and the store felt different. I thought the person had a few more weeks, but yesterday I was joking with the workers and there was a new face. I visited and realized this new person had replaced the unhappy worker. I could see the workers relaxing and laughing more. I came home tonight after a long stressful day thinking about things and realized that in both cases, it was ONE person who caused the problem. I wanted to blog about that and I sat down to eat dinner as I had been fasting all day for inspiration on the one situation that is still active.
There was a show that came up on Netflix that was called "Bad Sport" and so I put it on while I ate. In each show, there was a central person who came up with or instigated corruption and recruited others into their plans and ruined the lives of those they recruited and their families.
I found it interesting that on the day when I felt to write about one bad apple affecting those around them, I watch this and see how evil can filter into so many situations, not just in business, even in sports which bring people so much joy.
I have learned so much over this past year. Both situations were started by one new person coming into a fine situation and by their negativity or thirst for power have brought so many people down around them and made the lives of those around them difficult for the past year. I found that both of these people were unhappy themselves, and I believe that unhappy people don't like to be around happy people.
This entire situation in both cases reminded me of the story of "The Count Of Monte Cristo" as in the story the man who has everything is jealous of the man who has nothing and is just happy and in love. He ruins the life of the poor man and then continues to marry his woman and ruined all the lives of those around him. I do believe that we each have a choice. We can choose to be happy or sad. But then, we also have the choice when faced with negative people. We can hold our head up and choose to not allow their behavior to bring us down.
Each time I have had to deal with both of those people, I have always been kind and said "hello" and tried to not allow their behavior to influence my happiness.
God is very good, and I was blessed with parents who have taught me to love others and be a kind person. I hope I have inspired that in my girls as well.
Have a blessed day!