Little Angel Looks Like My Pokemon Buddy

My friend Matt is a generous soul. He has given me 10 gifts in about four months. I told him to stop spending his money on me many times as two of the gifts are REALLY expensive gifts! 

I asked him to stop sending gifts because I think he should be spending his money on buying himself a home or moving out of state as he isn't happy with the state where he lives. He would just laugh and tell me he has everything he needs and God provides and things like that. 

After I asked him to stop sending me thing a few weeks back, I thought we had an agreement. I was really upset last week when I went out to the mail box and found a box from Amazon. You can ask my children, but I am not a big gift person. If I need or really want something, I will buy it for myself. My kids have a hard time knowing what to get me, but they all know, I just love touch so ask for a foot or back rub instead of gifts. Time together and sushi for my birthday are also fun when we can all be together as it doesn't happen often anymore!

I opened the outer box just to make sure it was from him. It was. I didn't open the box and called him the next day telling him I was really uncomfortable with the gifts and he could tell I was upset. I told him I was trying to clear out my home and didn't need him spending money on gifts for me. 

I also feel indebted when people spend lots on gifts and explained to him that in my past relationships I was with someone who wouldn't purchase things I wanted as gifts, he would purchase items that would make HIM look good. I would always tell him that I was going to buy him a motorcycle helmet for his next gift. He didn't have a motor cycle and had no need for the helmet, and that was how I felt about the gifts he would purchase. We had the same conversation over and over about gifts. I think he felt that if he got me something I liked, or asked for, he was being controlled or manipulated somehow.

So, Matt on the other hand, has purchased me the most thoughtful gifts as far as physical gifts go! I am waiting to share a big one as it is needing pick up, but he had it custom made for me and is the perfect gift for me. When I told my girls what he was having made, they all said it was the perfect gift for me. 

He bought and overnighted my favorite sausage from New England. He purchased me a custom sign online with the name of my blog on it. When he came to visit, he left and envelope hidden at my home and told me about it when I dropped him off at the airport. He sent me a $50 iTunes card so I could purchase some Pokemon items so we could do gym raids together. He really puts lots of thought into his gifts. 

Even though they make me uncomfortable, they are really thoughtful. I dated a man a few years back who bought my girls iPods and bought me diamond earrings, and I also told him I was uncomfortable with his expensive gifts. I always feel like they will want something in return, or I am indebted to them somehow. 

I didn't open the box for a week or so and it caused some long discussions about the situation. I know he was hurt by what I said about not wanting gifts, but I was upset because we have discussed it over and over. We are just friends and I have never had a friend spend so much on me like that. Even when dating before and after my marriage, I never wanted to have any expectations from the man, so I didn't like receiving gifts. 

I opened the box yesterday and the little angel inside was a sweet little angel and it looked familiar in my head to something. It says "Thankful for you" on the front and is a precious moments figurine. 

It didn't take me long to realize it looks just like the Pokemon that I chose as my main buddy / pet in the game. I just picked one and then after, I realized that the Pokemon is white, has wings, has flowers in it's hair, and flies through the air! I think I chose it because it reminded me of angels and after that realization, I told a few people that. 

I realized that the angel looks just like my buddy Togepi! The big eyes, the white dress, the flowers, the wings, the little "u" smile and no nose. I laughed about it and took a photo to send Matt. He wrote "no need to thank me!" 

I had a little light switch go off in my head while eating some of that yummy New England sausage and looking at the angel. I realized that if someone told me I could not tell them thank you ever again, or I said it too often and to stop, I don't think I could do it! It is such a part of me. I then thought of Matt and realized that giving gifts to those he cares about is part of who he is. He just gave his fairly new truck to his only nephew with no expectations. He could have sold it for $25, 000 to $30.000. I told him about a friends daughter who needs a kidney transplant and he immediately told me to tell them he would be willing to donate his a few months back. 

He told me some situations while he served in the military about how he wasn't able to "shoot to kill" and would wound the enemy and then give them aid after the situation had calmed down. He is a tough New England exterior with a creamy filling! He has always been "tough" on the outside, but really sweet and kind on the inside. I have a video of him holding Princess One and playing with her as a toddler when he didn't know anyone was watching. He also gave the girls his "Hot Wheel" cars and all his Dr. Seuss Books when he was a teen and didn't want them anymore. I thought that was really sweet. My kids all have Seuss books and hot wheels in their "Saved items" to take eventually when they get a house! 

I had the epiphany, that me telling Matt that he can't give gifts, was like someone telling me I couldn't give or share gratitude, or me not being able to share myself with others in the ways that I do share with others! I called Matt and told him about my "light bulb" moment and it brought up many other discussions about him not liking gifts either and he also didn't like to be indebted to others, and so he understood why I didn't want him giving me gifts, but in the same way, I am ALWAYS taking gifts and prizes to my family members over the holidays. I always purchase the prizes on my own and give them away. Sometimes they will leave the event with many gifts! 

I finally understood a bit better why Matt buys me gifts. It is in his nature, just as it is in mine! I know he doesn't have lots of money and I asked him why he would spend what he does have on others. He said he used to be the type that would save and hoard money and worry about paying the bills and acquiring things, but then he realized after his heart attack that you can't take it with you, so what is the point of hoarding it. 

One final story he told me yesterday. At church, they are planning the girl camp for his congregation. They sent around a sign up for people to say if they had a camp stove, and if so, would they be willing to allow the girls to borrow it for camp. He signed up as having one and then went out and bought one so that the girls would have one to use as they didn't have enough sign up and needed one. That is who Matt is!

He did say that he will only give me gifts for my birthday and Christmas now to respect that it makes me uncomfortable having him spend so much on me, and I am grateful that he is respectful of my wishes and is willing to communicate to figure things out, rather than being vindictive which I have seen others do in similar situations. 

Thank you Matt for the thoughtful gifts! I am thankful for your generous spirit and kind heart and am grateful you found my YouTube channel so we could reconnect after 34 years! 

Have a blessed day!