Fair Way to Settle an Estate Long Befrore You Die - Part 2

I wanted to finish telling you how we have divided everything due to the situations I posted about in part 1. 

I mentioned I had the girls write down lists. We spent an afternoon talking and visiting and writing down anything in the house they wanted. I had all the book sets listed on a paper as well as most of the toys. I told the girls to write down a dream list of anything in the house they wanted and they should put a number next to them as to what they wanted first and so on. 

For the most part, I was a bit surprised by the lists. I thought they would have more of the same type things on their lists. It was interesting to see that the older two girls had more of the same items and the next two girls (there is a five year gap between the second and third princess) had similar items on their lists. 

Princess number four had only two or three things on her list. I figured that would be the case as she isn't any where near having her own home or thinking in a way about a house or children. 

Because different toys came out in different years, the older girls wanted the older classic toys as those were the one's they played with. The middle princesses wanted middle stage toys from 15 years ago or so. Princess five, she wanted the toys that were newer that we purchase when she was young. 

I think it would have been more difficult if they had all wanted the same things but this way works for that as well. 

I then had the girls pick a number between 1 and 1,000 and whoever was first got to choose first and then next closest went second etc. 

It was amazing to me that most of them ended up getting what was on their original lists save the classic few things that were on all their lists. Dr. Suess books, Legos, hot wheel, etc were on every list. 

I was happy to see that for the most part, the girls handled it well. There were a few sad faces on the Dr. Suess books but if the person we bought the item for in the first place got everything then Princess number one would have ended up with most of the toys and books. 

I am planning on keeping a few Barbies, the Hot Wheel track and the Puppet theater and dress ups for kids to play with at "Grandmas house" but when I die, my girls all know who gets what and there won't (I hope) be any fighting over anything. 

We did this with items in the house etc but we still have heirloom furniture and history items. I told them we would do a little each time they come. This way, it is never overwhelming and hopefully, when I pass away, things will be organize and settled so they can mourn in peace. 

The reason I have all the Barbie photos is that each girl wants their "own" Barbies that they got for gifts. So, I spent a few nights grooming them, dressing them and putting together all the sets that go together, together. 

I bought five new middle size bins. I labeled them with each girls name. Next time we are all together, I will put all the Barbies and Hot Wheel in a pile. We will pick numbers again and then can start picking. They all pick which were theirs anyway but we did have lots of old Hot Wheels they didn't get as gifts. I have bought five car holders over the years and they are shown at the top. They are almost all full. They all wanted them so this way, they can all have some. 
 

Funny story, while I was cleaning out the toy closet, I pulled the Hot Wheel track bin out and in the bottom was a "Strawberry Shortcake" shoe and a ballet shoe. My nieces lost these over a year ago while playing at my house. I remember saying, "It will turn up at some point" thinking they would be back soon to play but they started school and rarely come over anymore for more than a few minutes. I called my sister laughing when I found it. Shows how often the girls play with the Hot Wheel track anymore.  

Now, the books, toys, and most house items are spoken for and have a "home" when I don't need them anymore. The girls can take them at any point as they are their property now. I kept a few Barbies in a shoe rack, one ken and one smaller Barbie. No extra clothes and I have the "baby" toys in a toy box and have a small container of Hot Wheels that I will keep with the track. I also have a small plastic drawer with bigger cars, plastic animals and dinosaur and some dolls with clothes. I like knowing that I won't have to go through any of it again, once they sort through these last items. The stuff they get goes in their bin and I am done..... 

I think some may think this morbid but my mothers best friend died recently and I am good friends with her daughters. I have spoken to several about what she did and at first, I thought she was selfish in how she handled everything. But now, I see she felt she was giving them a gift. She sold her home, gave away all her stuff and did her history. She then moved into a rented beach home. She lived the last year of her life relaxing on the beach. She organized her remains to be donated to science, then cremated. She told them to have no funeral where everyone was sad. She asked them to get together and sprinkle some of her ashes near her husbands grave, some at the beach and some near her home in the mountains a year after her death. They did have a memorial service which my family attended but it was more of a "roast" as that is how she would have liked it.
 
That was what prompted me the most to do things the way I have. Many issues from my last post about how much time I have spent with my mom's belongings and "stuff" have made me feel that organizing my own things now and scanning all the pictures and copying all the video will save my girls weeks, months and years of the "hell" that I have had to deal with going through my mothers belongings and history. 

What will your children and family have to deal with when you leave? How can you make that easier on them now? Just some question I have asked myself a few times now......