Fair Way to Settle an Estate Long Before You Die - Part 1

I touched on this subject a few weeks ago as during the holidays, I had the girls do something for me that probably isn't the norm. 

I had the girls write up a list of everything they wanted in the house in several categories.

I had them do books, toys, furniture, heirlooms etc. 

I am not planning on dying anytime soon. However, as I have been so involved with taking care of my mom over the past few years, I tried VERY hard to be equitable to family members when it came to items in her home, copies of family video, photos, history etc. 

With all that, someone mentioned something last year that was hurtful to me as I have done so much and worked so hard calling, writing, and asking if people wanted items before cleaning out her home and since. I decided I didn't want to put any of my children in the position of having to be "mom" to me by cleaning out my home, photos, videos etc. 

My older girls, over the past few years as they have left home, said that there were certain things they would like in my will. Many of the items they mention are the same items that others have asked for as well. 

When my grandmother died, I lived on the East Coast and I had a cousin that cleaned out her home and ended up giving many things to good will. The only reason I have anything is because my sister gave me the everyday dishes that she inherited. I felt sad about this as I see her lamps at my brothers and a couch at another brothers as they were the same age and sex as the cousin who cleaned out her home. 

I was also living in the East when my parents moved out of their home and everyone living near them inherited many things which I didn't have the opportunity to get. With all those experiences coloring my past, I have tried to organize my papers, belongings, and family photos so that the girls will just be able to take "their stuff" and not have to worry. 

As you know, a few years ago, I started scanning our family photos. Here is a post about that. And, Here is a post about doing my mothers pictures.   I made sure each of my siblings and parents received copies of all the scans.
 
I organized all my "important documents" in a book and made second copies and have them at a different location in case of disaster or fire. Here is a link about that. 

I have written journals most of my life and have the family history written through yearly news letters and wrote in journals for the girls when they were young. Here is a post about that.  And, here is a sample of our family letters.

Several years ago, I took on over a hundred old movies in different forms and had them transferred over onto sets of 12 DVD's and made copies of  ten of them for all of my fifty cousins as well as aunts and uncles on my dad's side. My immediate family had even more DVD's due to the fact that most were of our family so we had video of home life. My siblings helped scan slides as well as some audio (this part isn't finished as there are hundreds of cassette tapes still needing to be listened to and organized) I watched every minute of the DVDs and made a master list of each video, who was in it and which DVD the clip is on so that a person can just type in their name and know exactly which DVDs and where on the DVD they could see themselves and where the video was taken and what year. Here is a post about that.

I have LOTS of video of the girls (Here is a video about that) as we got a video camera the day Princess number 1 was born. I haven't taken the time to make them copies as technology is progressing faster and faster. At the moment, my idea is to digitize all the video and put them all on a back up hard drive and make one hard drive for each of the girls so they all have a copy of all the videos. I plan on doing it so they won't have to do it. I already have most of them labeled as to who is on the video and the date etc. I would just need to make a master word document so they could search it as well.

As you can see, I have thought about this more than most and with that, I want to have all of my estate settled now or asap so that I can enjoy the time with the girls and they can mourn me when I go and not worry about having to clean out the house and worry about who gets what and have any hurt feelings at that point. 

Monday, I will share about a friend who recently passed on and her situation as well as how we divided things up.